Psychotherapy

Feeling misunderstood, blamed or unloved by your partner is one of the worst feelings there is. You may respond with anger (nagging, criticizing or attacking) or by shutting down and withdrawing. Either way, you end up alone and this is a terrible experience for both of you. Stopping this pattern and establishing a strong foundation of trust, understanding, closeness and connection is possible.

Are you resentful about all you do for your relationship? Do you wish your partner recognized how much you give and how much more you need? Do you find yourself complaining, withholding or retreating in resignation because you don’t know what else to do? Therapy can help you learn to confidently take credit for your hard work while making specific and understandable requests to your partner that set the stage for meaningful negotiation.  

It can be really hard to look at yourself and admit that you’ve hurt your partner, whether it’s a single instance or over time. It can be even harder to admit this to your partner for fear of an avalanche of “I told you so’s” or recrimination. One of my favorite things to do is help people hold themselves accountable without going to a shameful place that they feel they can’t get out of. In fact, being accountable and knowing how to truly apologize for the way we have hurt others is the antidote to shame and self-blame.

When your partner violates your trust, it can feel as if you’ve lost everything. As if the rug’s been swept out from under you and the story of your past, present and future is completely unreliable. Couples often break up when affairs or other relationship traumas occur, but sometimes couples want to do the very hard work of healing and there’s no better place do to this than in couples therapy.  

Want to tackle minor differences before they become big rifts? Want to assess whether you’re addressing important issues before making a long-term commitment? Early relationship couples therapy is one of the best ways to prevent cycles of conflict from grabbing hold of your relationship when times get tough. Identify your weak or “raw spots” now and plan for how you’ll respond when they get tested in the relationship.